Jon tried to leave the house last night at 1 am. I heard the door alarm sound and by the time I got my asleep self out of bed and found my shoes, he was headed around the side of the house with two grocery bags and a back pack full of stuff. Last week he wandered away in the middle of the day while I was in the front yard watering the flowers. I found him in an adjoining neighborhood on the other side of the lake behind our house.
I think I need to be that many eyed critter Ezekiel saw in his vision (Ezekiel 10:12). I used to tell my boys that mothers have eyes in the back of their heads and that go around corners and they believed me, but Jon has proved my theory to be incorrect.
I don’t know where he thought he was going. If asked he doesn’t say. I had plenty to say though.
Things like: “Where in the world do you think you’re going in the middle of the night.”
“It’s dark out here, a bear could eat you and we would never see you again.”
“I was sleeping, you’re supposed to be too.”
“If you take off in the night the neighbors will call the police and your wandering record at the police department is already so long their computers keep crashing.”
You know- exaggerated things mothers always say and everyone, including Jon, ignores.
I’m living with a thirty two year old bad attitude teenager. Jon has been slow in reaching most of life’s phases. He didn’t walk until he was two and a half, didn’t start saying words until he was four and wasn’t completely out of diapers until he was about eight. I think the adolescent years have finally arrived! He doesn’t like me, won’t talk and won’t come out of his room. What does that sound like to you?
I get the feeling Jon doesn’t want to be here anymore. He is bored with us (can’t blame him there), but more than that he is bored with his life as it is. He is now refusing to go to the day program he was attending. I made and cancelled three appointments to tour the ARC in Deland, another day program with a work component, because he won’t go. I rescheduled a recent doctor appointment for him for the same reason. Tomorrow he has a dentist appointment. Wish me luck with that!
Occasionally I manage to get him out of the house. Usually after offering to take him to the movies, bowling, library, shopping or for lunch, dinner, someplace, anyplace, I get a scowl in return and a closed bedroom door in my face. Lately he only comes out to eat or take off someplace.
So what’s a mom to do? He’s too old to spank or put in time out. Beg, plead, implore? One percent success rate on that. Restricting privileges? What privileges? Kick him out? He might actually like that but no… can’t do that. Pray? Yes, I do plenty of that. I understand I Thessalonians 5:17, “Pray without ceasing”. It seems to be all I do these days.
Prayer is my sanity and my medicine. I’ve learned that running to God instead of blaming Him for everything keeps my heart light and my emotions in check. I pray for Jon and for us and for solutions to a problem that looms bigger than a mountain. I’m expecting an answer to come, when or how remains to be seen. But that is what walking in faith is all about.
While I wait, I ask God to give me Ezekiel’s winged creature eyeballs, if not literally, at least by the Holy Spirit to my own spirit so I can keep track of this guy-my wandering, bad attitude, adult, teenager who I love with all my heart.