The Final Vow

IMG_0011The first two promises Mike and I made to one another weren’t always easy to keep. We laughed, cried, fought, rejoiced, struggled, walked together and at times, far apart through “for better, for worse. In sickness and in health.”

Many years ago we stood at an altar and repeated, “Until death do us part.” I was a young, starry eyed, romantic, full of warm, fuzzy dreams of how my life would play out with the guy I loved. Those five words, stated so innocently, so glibly have now come full circle.

“Until death do us part.”

Forty two years later I’m experiencing the final vow. This one I get to keep without Mike by my side. That’s how it usually works. After decades of sloshing through the history of our life, one of us got to go. One got to stay.

“Until death do us part.”

My covenant promises to Michael Connis ended abruptly a few weeks ago. The last vow has been fulfilled. The stark, harsh reality of it has left me reeling, gasping, longing.

But the living of it in between the “I Do” and this parting, I will never regret.

The combining of two bodies, souls and spirits is a most wonderful, difficult thing. If you’re still privileged to be living between the first two vows and the last one – BE. ALL. IN.

Love ferociously. Struggle determinedly. Give it all ya’ got until the final vow comes calling.

In the deep grief of a broken heart and the loneliness of long, sleepless nights there will be a spark of joy in realizing you kept the promises.

And it was worth it!

Matthew 19:6 “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

5 thoughts on “The Final Vow

  1. Jill Davis

    The “Until Death Do Us Part”never gets our full attention until it happens. We say that vow on the day we marry but when it happens our world comes to a complete stop. The man who we have spent so much time with is gone. We are happy to know they have gone to Heaven to be with the Lord but we ask the Lord, how do we go on without them? We put one foot in front of the other and try to make some semblance out of our life. Friends and family tells us they are sorry and they know what we are going through. Except they don’t, unless they have gone through it too! So it is just baby steps for a while. The memories will come rushing back to us. Savor each moment. Come up for air. Your words were very special. Talk with God. You find him your best friend now and talk to him more than you ever did. He will guide you and love you. He will be your best friend and there with you every moment of the day. Just call on him. God Bless you!

  2. judy wagner

    Beautifully written Diane and so true. Married life can have it’s own struggles, hard places to walk through etc. but the commitment was till death do us part. Then we go on alone and thank God for the Good Times and the memories that are tucked away in our hearts and minds. God Bless You!

  3. Orpha A. Rivera

    Your pain has turned into a message, a coinseling to many and an inspiration to others…looking for a resonable explanation to many questioms that comed to mind when we experience the lost of a love one…May His goodness and mercies be yours every day..may the meditations of your heart be and instrument of PEACE to the wounded heart..may your Love and Understanding of the Word of God; help you released it all to HIM….

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