Tag Archives: disability

No Comparison (please!)

A passion of mine is to help people become better educated about adults with developmental disabilities and occasionally, conversations with people evolve into the topic of our developmentally delayed son and some of his behaviors.


Some folks, with a little chuckle and smile, say, “O yeah, I know, all kids act that way sometimes. Mine sure does. It can really be frustrating.” 

Or something similar.


I know they mean well and I appreciate their desire to empathize, but telling me their three year old child, five year old grandson or ten year old nephew, does the exact same thing doesn’t make me feel better.

Because it’s really not the same – at all!

It hardly seems like a fair comparison when your “child” is thirty plus and you’re still dealing with these behaviors every day.

Their struggle with a childish behavior problem occurs because their kid is still a child.  Jon is not.

Their struggle with these behaviors will end as their child grows and matures. Mine has not.

Any individual who asks about and takes interest in our son, so they can understand him better is greatly appreciated. He’s a remarkable person and we love him very much but comparing him or any other disabled adult to a toddler, elementary age or pre-teen child troubles me.

I don’t begrudge those whose children develop normally and I’m not angry because Jon didn’t. I’m simply in a constant state of living inside this reality.

Families and caregivers, who have put in years of loving and living with an adult with developmental delays are the ones who know…

It’s not the same at all!