One year ago today my husband and I woke up and went about business as usual with no hint of what the day would bring.
By it’s end, Mike was gone, instantly and without warning. Death came calling and the life we had together, the one I had known for so long, suddenly evaporated.
“Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring.” Proverbs 27:1
Honestly, it’s been my worst (and there’s been some tough ones) year ever. It feels like yesterday, still so fresh in my mind and heart. I still can’t believe he’s really gone.
The gnawing sadness and giant void that replaced what Mike’s existence once filled, remains. I wonder if it always will. I miss him constantly. I miss all that was us.
This year my faith has been severely tested. The past twelve months have been a season of grasping, clawing, failing, falling, leaning and learning. I’ve taken some steps forward and just as many backward.
I’m learning how to make decisions and handle situations on my own and deal with emotions never experienced before. There are still nights of fear and anxiety and days when giving up seems to be a better option than moving forward.
A year ago, I could never have imagined a life without Mike in it. When I think I won’t make it through another day God, who is The More I desperately need, is patiently guiding me on a growing faith journey like none I‘ve walked before.
Today is a day of remembering and sadness. But also a day of thankfulness because I’ve survived. I didn’t know I could at first. Didn’t think I would, especially in those early days when just continuing to breathe seemed impossible.
So I take time today to thank God for being More. More grace, More comfort. More peace, More strength. More provision. More faithfulness. More mercy. More love. More trust.
More of everything I am not, without Him. And More of all there is the possibility of becoming because of Him.
“God has the power to provide you with more than enough of every kind of grace. That way, you will have everything you need always and in everything..” 2 Corinthians 9:8
Awww my friend I love you more now than a year ago, you showed me how to trust God more, also how strong you are, only in God can one find that type of strength. Thank you Ms. Di❤️
Diane those are beautiful words. I’m so happy that you share them with us. We all need this kind of encouragement.
Thank You See you soon.
Lillian
Thinking about you today. ❤️
Diane,
I know the Lord has make you stronger during your loss
I pray that he continue blessing you and John for the years
ahead. We love you!!😍
I always enjoy your writings and the rawness and honesty in which you write. I remember my first months of grief as you were able to write, I was able to process my own emotions before finding Grief and Shares help.
Diane, the first year truly is the worst, and even though you will go on day by day, it will be a different normal. I am so happy that you have your faith and such a wonderful support system of family and friends. Continue to lean on us all and just take it one day at a time. Continued hugs and prayers❤
God bless you on this day Diane. I know how hard it is. The first year is the hardest and you made it. Praying for you this AM and asking God to give you some sunshine up there especially today. Don’t worry about Jon he will be fine. Enjoy your trip and family. See you when you return. Love you bunches.