It was pastor appreciation Sunday. I sat in church next to my husband with the rest of the pastor staff scattered across three sections of front row seats. A large basket was in the foyer, a place for people to drop cards and notes for the staff and someone was in the pulpit speaking words of blessing and thanks over our lead pastor and his family.
But my mind was elsewhere, still home with Jon. Lost in the rough week we’d had together. There’d been extra struggles and a few wandering episodes. I felt wearily overwhelmed and as I fought back tears, sent up a silent prayer to my Heavenly Father.
“God, I’m so thankful for this church family where we’re blessed to serve. This appreciation thing is great but what I really need to know is You’re pleased with what I do everyday with Jon. I know taking care of him is my top priority but some days are such a struggle and I need to know I’m doing OK. When I meet you in Heaven, the only thing I want to hear You say is, “Well done daughter. You were faithful to carry out the task I assigned you. Good job!” That is all I really want, Lord. I desperately need to know I’m doing enough.”
According to national statistics about 29% of the adult population cares for an ill or disabled family member. Full time care-giving is a solitary mission field, with few furloughs. Some people choose it as a career, work eight hours, collect a paycheck and go home. But for family caregivers it is literally about laying aside their own life, putting personal hopes, dreams and ambitions on hold, often indefinitely, for another. This act of love requires daily unselfish sacrifice performed by flawed and innately selfish people…like me.
There’s a constant challenge of balancing my son’s needs against what I want and need and dealing with the tension and guilt this can bring, and it often feels like I’m never enough. So I prayed this prayer, gave it all over to God’s capable hands again and went on with my day.
Later, after arriving home, I changed clothes and left for the restaurant where Jon had gone with his caregiver, to relieve her of her duty. Once there, she informed me the manager of this buffet style restaurant was not happy about my son’s presence in his establishment. He kept sending the waitress over to tell her she wasn’t watching Jon properly and Jon was taking too much food.
Neither was true, never mind the fact it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. I spent the next few hours dealing with the customer-service-inept manager and his sidekick waitress, until Jon finally finished and was ready to leave.
On the way out, Jon stopped in the entrance area to check out the arcade machines. As I waited for him, a man standing near the front door approached me.
“Is that your son?” he asked, pointing toward Jon
I replied by a yes-nodding of my head.
“Well, I don’t know what this manager’s problem is but I’m so sorry for the way your son was treated here. What’s his name?”
“His name is Jon, and thank you. I don’t think we’ll ever come back here again.”
The man looked at Jon then back at me. “Me either,” he said with disgust. “The manager was even going around to some of the customers complaining about Jon, telling them he shouldn’t be here. I finally told him to leave your son alone. I didn’t see him doing anything wrong, other than being slow and that’s no big deal.”
I smiled and thanked him again as his wife came out of the restroom and joined us by the door.
“Look,” he said, “the real reason I wanted to talk to you is because I felt I should tell you something. I don’t know you or anything about you and your son other than what I’ve observed here today, but I felt strongly I should tell you…that God wants you to know…you are an amazing mom, you’re doing a good job with that young man and God is pleased with your faithfulness.”
By then I’d forgotten all about my morning prayer but this man’s words mirrored my own so exactly that I immediately started to cry. Then these two strangers put their arms around me and prayed for me right there, outside that horrible restaurant, prayed for me to have the strength and wisdom I needed to continue to care for my son and for Jon to fit perfectly into God’s plan for our life.
God, in his mercy and kindness, didn’t make me wait for Heaven to let me know He has everything I need to accomplish my task. He heard my prayer and cared enough to whisper His reassurance into the heart of a willing messenger.
On the hard days, I remember this and think of how much God loves me, enough to tell me…
In Him, I am enough.
And that is all the appreciation this overtime mom will ever need!
Isaiah 49:28-29 “Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might He increases power.”
Matthew 25:23 “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a few things; I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord.”